What to do tomorrow?

I've got it! I'm going to go North! and East! I'm gonna go hang out in Philadelphia and New Jersey and New York City. Why? Because I hate my fucking job. and I need a change of scenery. and I've never been there before. (With all these I's it would seem this writer is very selfish.)

The only reason I kept doing it was to make money. I have now made enough to finance this trek. When I get bored, I will come back. Maybe. If I can find a way. Chances are that if I am bored it means that I am broke. That will make it hard to fly. or drive. or do much more than breathe in this day and age, pardon my colloquialism. (This writer obviously loves his little colloquialisms. Do they keep him warm at night when the cold air of loneliness is upon him?)

One problem with my plan is that I have work. and homework. and class. and people who will worry about me quite a bit more than is truly necessary. (This writer is an obvious narcissist.)

I will take pictures, and probably post them. sometime. somewhere. (The vanity and self-love is deep in here.)

Thank you. and goodnight. (Afterthoughts. my. ass.)

The lover and dreamer. (The psychoanalyst and spell checker.)

Inspiration and Imagination

I have utterly thorough inspiration for this post... and I lost it. Therefore, I must imagine myself an emotional roller coaster for my intellectually famished audience. Thus, I will tell you about a dream I had this morning just before waking, as it appears that is how all dreams happen.

I awake, in my bed, here in Houston, hearing the college radio station I left the radio on upon going to bed. I realize I need to go. This is one of the stupidest dreams I have ever had.

Maybe it's because my mother is in the hospital right now after having surgery. I talked to her today, whilst inquiring what room she was in so I could send flowers. I would be in town right now, had she not told me this just Sunday, 2 minutes before ending the telephone conversation. She said she is doing fine, and that she will be strong like her son. I told her she ought to be, for only the strongest women can give birth to sons of my caliber(of which I meant actual size. I was huge.) She chuckled, and I only wish that she had seen 300, so that I could tell her that she must be a Spartan woman, so that she could understand what my pop-culture-movie-quoting-lame-ass is talking about. I may be strong, but original... that's for the ages to decide.

Speaking of 300, it was good. It's awesome for guys, because there's lots of awesome fighting action of awesomeness! It's great for girls, because as my friend(Amanda) and her sister(Stephanie) giggled about throughout the movie, "Could they have amassed a hotter army?" I have to admit that, no, they probably could not have. Those dudes made me so ridiculously jealous that I've been hitting the gym again, eating salads, and even foregoing the dressing. Stephanie informed us ahead of the movie that she would most likely be covering her face three-quarters of the time in squeemishness for all the blood this film was rumored to fling about. In the end, she admitted to only doing this for a grand total of two minutes. The bloody mess part was well done with silhouetting and computer graphics, showcasing the blood as simple circles of dark red ejecting artistically from the fallen. If you are adamantly aghast of beheadings, you might want to leave this one alone though.

That is all the imagination I have for tonight. Good night, Shelbyville! There will be no encore!

How to Live Life

Drunk. I'm pretty sure that's how I should be living it. When I have had one, or two, or maybe a few more, I can deal with just about anything. I can pay attention to my boring-ass lecture. I understand where my parents are coming from with their need to claim me as a dependent and why it is financially better for everyone. I stop caring about things, and start caring about people, and music, and art, and just think more about how we interact. I don't think I need as much money as I make. I don't like this idea of saving up for a house that I'm not sure I'm ever going to buy. I'm too unsure of where I'm going to be in a year to think about buying a house. Would I want to live in a house by myself? No. Living alone in anything larger than say, 500 square feet, seems ridiculous to me. Granted, I do that now. I believe I began renting here because I honestly believed someone would be joining me here within a year. I was very foolish. Now, I just don't want to have to move. Perhaps I could simply rent out the dining room to a very small & new restaurant, just starting out. That would be best, I think. Any takers? I know I would probably dine there at least a few times a week. I feel like I need a better breakfast than dry cereal with milk, and yet, I do nothing about this because of... well, I don't know why, but I'm sure there's a perfectly logical reason. I do know this though. Cranberry juice and vodka is the best way to go if I want to be happy. It is also delightfully uncomplicated and inexpensive.

Pros:
Fruit intake goes up.
Alcohol is pure energy.
Easy & cheap to make.

Cons:
None found as of yet.

GAAAAHHH!

I am twitchy! I haven't had any mountain dew for over a month, and I had some tonight to stay awake through my 3 hour Systems Engineering lecture online. I am having problems slowing my blinking! I <3 Mtn. Dew, as many of you know, but this stuff is probably going to kill me eventually.

This class is sooo boring. Each week, the prof. reviews the goals of the class and the syllabus that he passed out a month ago for the first hour. Then, he went into questions that people had asked during the week that he had answered. We were given the file that held them all earlier today, so I'd already looked through them. At the point that we started with new material, we'd been going for over an hour and a half. I'm slightly disappointed. At least the class seems to be easy. I'm not looking forward to the "academically challenging" homework that the prof keeps refering to during class.

Oh yeah, and one of the other things causing my general malaise right now: MORE LAYOFFS! w00t! They already trimmed the fat. Now they're cutting away the meat. The only reason this would be good for me is because I would end up gaining a nice sized lump sum out of it from $ they owe me over the next few years. If I stay for 3 years, I get to keep that stuff. If I leave on my own, I don't get it. If they lay me off... CASH MONEY, M*F*K*R's! I think I would move back to Nebraska and lie about for a bit in the snow. Then my Dad would come out and kick me until I went and got a job. Thanks, Dad, for all the positive encouragement you've given me throughout the years. I might just stay here and apply at NASA, or another company a friend of mine is talking about. I do still have the lease going here at my apartment anyway. But anyway, this may be why I don't make any plans to travel for a while. We should find out from management on 16 February at the latest. The good part about the company is that after they let you know, you're still employed for 60 days. It's actually just a notice, and there is a possibility that someone else leaving could give you back your spot. The last day is, get this, 20 April, and yes, the end of the day would have to be around 4:20 that day. That carries too many different meanings for one link.

As of that day though, I will, or will not, be buying a plane ticket to Philadelphia(& back) for the end of March sometime. One of my friends here offered to put me up for a few days while she visits family in New Jersey, and I can explore the countryside. This is awesome, because in about a day, I could visit 3 states that I haven't gotten to yet. I just hope my employer sees fit to keep me around and allow me to afford that trip.

I went to the opera Saturday to see Faust, which my friend was actually in, albeit as a supernumary. It was pretty cool, but also... well let's say I'm not that in to opera. Sunday I watched the Super Bowl, as is required by my American Male Red Blood. I was going for the Not-Bears because I knew too many bandwagon fans.

Finally, to answer the generally third-most-burning-question asked of me, No, I am still unattached. No woman I have found interesting enough to have a twenty minute conversation/staring contest with has burrowed her way into my heart. Which reminds me, what are you doing for Valentine's Day, Beautiful?

Lacking Foregiveness

So I haven't had much go all that wrong in my life that wasn't already. Therefore I have less to complain about, and a better life overall, and less to blog about.

I'm figuring more out at work, and starting to understand all the stuff I have to know about my job. "They" say it takes a year to become a useful employee, and it's only been six months, but I had a goal of being fully competent by year's end. Well that passed, and I didn't meet that goal, but I'm on track for the one year competency, so that's good. Still worried about another lay-off, though, and that's a bummer. The only consolation is that I wouldn't have to pay for anything they've already given me if that's what they decide to do, and I could still apply at NASA, with a reasonable hope of getting my dream job.

Class is going just fine, I guess. We've only had one meeting so far, and the prof wants us to WebEx in for the rest of the classes so he can ask us questions in real-time. w00t! Now I can't really watch my class whenever I want, I've gotta watch it 8:30-11:10 now, which isn't really that bad, but whatever. Russian class is going pretty well, actually. There's only one guy that is doing better than me, and he's motivated by going to Russia in a month, whereas there's almost no need for me to learn the language. I'm quickly on my way to becoming sort of trilingual. I need to go and get re-imersed in a Spanish speaking situation, unlike the last five years of my life.

When I'm not working or studying, I'm actually hanging out with people now. That's a bit refreshing. Granted, when I got here, I had expected that I'd be hanging out with people every night, like when I was an intern. Now people have lives, and I hadn't prepared for that, myself. Now that I have my own life, there's plenty to do, so I don't feel bored all the time. I've even been reading more, for pleasure! Not just to figure out my next move in the stock market, or improve my abilities at work, or to understand just why the rest of the world hates us!

So life's going alright for me now.

I still wish I were back in Omaha though.